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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612198">Little Monastery of Horrors</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telsiree/pseuds/Telsiree'>Telsiree</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Little Shop of Horrors (1986)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Gardens &amp; Gardening, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Musicals, Romantic Comedy, fear of rodents, trigger warning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 22:22:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,815</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telsiree/pseuds/Telsiree</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Imperial Year 1180.  Garreg Mach Monastery.</p><p>Except Bernadetta has brought a friend from the gardens of Varley Manor after an eclipse...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edelgard von Hresvelg/Bernadetta von Varley, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Suddenly Edelgard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>CN/TW:  Explicit refs to child abuse and self-hate and anxiety and depression.  It's Bernadetta, so you should know what that means.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Little Monastery Of Horrors</p><p> </p><p>Chapter 1:  Suddenly Edelgard</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Bernadetta had always loved plants.</p><p>That’s why she stayed up late at night in the monastery greenhouse, tending the marvellous blooms and watering the plants and fertilizing the soil, enjoying the fresh scents and musty loam. Privately. It gave her time to think, here at the Academy.</p><p>She didn’t mind Professor Manuela as her instructor. Too much. The Professor was strict, but nice. She knew a whole lot about fighting, about battle. And also about dating. Unsuccessfully. Bernadetta thought this was because she was also sexy, but in a way that made you feel bad about yourself just by looking at her. The Professor dressed nicely, but almost too nicely, in a professional, classy, unattainable, unapproachable way. Even though she looked so appealing, something about her and her behavior said <strong><em>Do Not Touch</em></strong><strong>.</strong></p><p>But Bernadetta couldn’t stop feeling that way about the Imperial Princess.</p><p>Princess Edelgard was sweet. And nice. And <em>serious.</em> She wasn’t one to play games, or to be evasive, or make fun of her, just because she was unmarriageable and had frequent panic attacks. She had told that story one day to Edelgard, and the Princess had solemnly looked at her and told Bernadetta that she was unmarriageable herself. That simple response made Bernadetta’s knees feel so weak she thought she would fall over and embarrass herself completely. You know, even more so than she usually did.</p><p>Slowly as the months passed at Garreg Mach, they grew closer, especially after Bernadetta admitted to Edelgard that she made her feel intimidated. The Princess accepted her tittering admission with good grace, but that wasn’t the most shocking thing that happened. Thereafter, when the Princess was on gardening duty with Bernadetta, she was quietly attentive, seriously respectful, and full of small intimate little glances and tiny dutiful touches that Bernadetta discovered after a while that the Princess didn’t even realize she was making. The Princess had confessed to her her fears about the sea, and had praised Bernadetta for trying to make an effort to change her own timid nature. It made her feel warm and special and <em>wanted</em> inside of herself. Bernadetta pondered if she was allowed to feel these things, unconsciously tugging and twirling a stray purple lock on the back on her head as she laid that night on her bed in her room.</p><p>She realized the depth of her feelings later in the week. Daydreaming idly as she put the watering cans back into place in the greenhouse, she wondered what it would be like to rub Edelgard’s long white hair through her fingers, and how it would feel in her rough calloused fingertips…</p><p><em>No!</em> This thought sent her into her worst panic attack yet. You didn’t do things like that with Princesses. They might get mad. Or upset. Or even angry! The thought of Edelgard’s violet glaring eyes turning glassy and distant at her for her worst foolishness yet, her low regal voice demanding Bernadetta to leave the Black Eagle House for being so daring, sent Bernadetta into a tizzy, and she wanted to lock herself inside of her room for forever and ever. And never come out.</p><p>She quickly fled back inside her dorm and locked the door, scampering into her bed and pulling the covers tightly around herself to help control her breathing. She buried her face into her pillow. Bernadetta hated people getting mad at her. Even inside her imagination.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I don’t think this one is going to survive,” said the real Edelgard regretfully one day.</p><p>Bernadetta tried to rub the dirt from her hands on her gardening apron, feeling disgusting and dirty and stinky standing next to the taller Imperial Princess. Even though she knew Edelgard was considered short for their age, the Princess stood with her spine so erect and firm that Bernadetta’s posture felt like a bag of wet noodles compared to her.</p><p>She couldn’t get the dirt out from her fingernails, but timidly nodded up to her social better. “No...it doesn’t look like it,” she agreed sadly.</p><p>The plant they were looking at was pitifully shrunken and pale in its small pot. It was one that Bernadetta had brought from her home, Varley Manor. She had hoped the experts at the monastery could tell her what to do with it. But no one recognized the plant, not the greenhouse keeper or Princess Petra, who was from Brigid. Not even Tomas the librarian. No matter the alterations in soil, watering, shade, or sunlight, it was clear the small pulpy bud with its beautiful, multicolored leaves wasn’t thriving.</p><p>Edelgard settled on her haunches to study the small seedling more closely. Bernadetta was looking at the ground, but she couldn’t help but stare as the Imperial Princess’ legs rippled and flexed through her red stockings. It was very stuffy and humid in greenhouses, wasn’t it? Very stuffy. Always. Bernadetta gulped for air.</p><p>“Where did you say you got it?” inquired the Princess.</p><p>“I...found it. In Varley gardens one day. After the eclipse, y’know?”</p><p>Rising, Edelgard turned her own lightly sheened face to Bernadetta. She even seemed to sweat better than her, a slow drop gracefully falling from her high brow. “Ah, I remember. The unexpected solar eclipse that occured during Saint Seiros Day, earlier this year. A frightening event.”</p><p>Bernadetta nodded hurriedly, not wanting to dwell on the end-of-the-world panic attack that she had during <em>that</em> time. “Y-yeah, It...it was scary. And after that...I want to run and check on the plants, y’know? I didn’t want any of them getting...confused by the lack of sun. Like everyone else.”</p><p>The white head tilted in curiosity, but Edelgard’s expression didn’t change. She never made fun of Bernadetta. That’s why she was so special. “I see. Go on.”</p><p>“I <em>know</em> it was silly,” admitted Bernadetta shamefully, shaking her head. “But then I went out there...and there was this new plant. Bright and green and vividly red when everything else was out of season! I thought it was something special, so I uprooted it and potted it and tried to bring it in from the cold in my room. It was interesting...I guess?”</p><p>Edelgard nodded down to the pot, but she watched Bernadetta the entire time. “And you were allowed to bring it here to Garreg Mach?” she said with a slight raise of her eyebrows.</p><p>“Oh! That. Well, it was sort of...by accident?” she stuttered back. “I remember I was sitting back in my old room, admiring it, when the door burst open and the guards and my mom put the sack over my head…”</p><p>The Imperial lips pressed into a thin bloodless line. “And…?”</p><p>“...and...and I guess they never realized--I had a plant with me? I’m not sure, it all happened so fast. So I then was stuck inside the sack for two days in the back of the wagon as my family brought me up to the Academy…”</p><p>The Imperial jaw was now bunching tightly. But Edelgard’s voice was soft as she replied, “Please go on, Bernadetta.”</p><p>Looking down at the plant calmed Bernadetta. A little. It was the one thing she was allowed to keep from her old room, even if it was wilting. “--well, there’s not much more to tell. It wasn’t that bad. One of the guards took pity on me. He dripped most of a canteen through the sack, so I had some water at least. He took a big risk doing so, but my father and mother were arguing and fighting again at the time. And then right before we arrived, before they would let me out, my father was hitting me through the sack and said I was to say <em>nothing</em> to Lady Rhea about any of this, or he would--”</p><p>“Bernadetta.”</p><p>Edelgard still hadn’t raised her voice. But its intensity interrupted her story. Oh. She should have known a Princess wouldn’t have cared such boring details about herself--</p><p>Timidly glancing up through her lashes, Bernadetta almost ran away right then and there.</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes were <em>blazing</em>. The lilac depths shimmered with a resolute cold fire that nearly smote Bernadetta to the ground. But her voice was still soft, even as it came past a firm jaw. “Thank you for telling me, Bernadetta. I know that must have been hard on you. You do not deserve such mistreatment.”</p><p>She nodded back quickly, flushed from Lady Edelgard’s attention and acknowledgement, feeling warm everywhere that was a nice warm, not a bad warm. It felt so nice it took her brain a moment to turn to the future consequences of her own words.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh no.</em>
</p><p>She told someone else about her Lord Father. And her Lady Mother. And they explicitly, threateningly, scarily warned her NOT to do that at Garreg Mach. With <strong><em>anyone</em></strong>.</p><p>Even Imperial Princesses.</p><p>Her breathing hitched. Her heart thudded and her roaring pulse blocked any auditory stimuli from the world. Edelgard’s face is now concerned and saying something more, but she couldn’t hear her, because there are two dark looming shapes behind the Imperial Princess, blotting out everything and everyone with their hands raised for blows. This was a bad one. She was losing consciousness and the world was sliding away, but above all, she desperately had to get the words out. And even as she feels Edelgard easing her limp body to the cold stone ground, she grabbed for the Princess’ hand.</p><p>She manages to say it before she faints.</p><p>“<em>Please don’t tell them I told you</em>.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Bernadetta wakes up later in her candle lit room, and the windows are dark. She hears snoring. That confuses her briefly, because she isn’t asleep anymore. She pinches her thigh to check if she’s really awake, and finally turns her head.</p><p>In the chair by her bedside, Linhardt is asleep.</p><p>Wait? Linhardt was <em>snoring?</em> In her <em>room?</em></p><p>She patiently waited for the familiar lack of air. The hammering anvil on her heart. The absolute fear, the loss of control, the kiss of doom on her neck ready to end her life.</p><p>And was surprised when it didn't come.</p><p>Bemusedly she propped herself up on her elbows, noting oddly that her sheets are newly pressed and clean, and she’s in her nightgown. “Linhardt?” she asked, feeling a strange lassitude from her own voice. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>A coughing snort came as Linhardt for once roused himself with alacrity. “Oh! Bernadetta. You’re awake,” he yawned and blinked his blue eyes sleepily at her. But then he smiled. “Everyone will be so pleased.”</p><p>“Everyone--? What happened?”</p><p>“You had another attack,” said Linhardt, standing slowly and stretching his arms. “A bad one. Edelgard was quite concerned. That’s why she arranged all this.” He waved an arm behind him.</p><p>“All this--?” Bernadeta rose to the edge of her bed in dawning wonder. In the dim shadows behind Linhardt, she could see them on her desk and shelves.</p><p>She knew, on an intellectual level, what they were. She vaguely remembered getting them when she was very small, before her Lord Father had started trying to train her to be a “good girl” in earnest.</p><p>Presents.</p><p>Bernadetta almost got up, but then she remembered she was just in her pale blue nightgown. “Oh--! Um…” she muttered, some nervousness finally coming forth through the artificial calmness.</p><p>Linhardt blinked owlishly several times at her, then he realized. “Oh. That. I mean, I should note that I <em>am</em> a physician in training, and I don’t personally even lean that way, but if it will make you feel better, I could stand by the door with my back turned?” he offered. Seeing an affirming nod from her, he got up and moved into the darkness by the doorway.</p><p>“No peeking,” said Bernadetta firmly as she moved about the room to dress herself.</p><p>Another gentle snore from Linhardt. He’d already fallen asleep again, propped up against the wall.</p><p>Reassured for a moment that she’s alone in her bedroom, Bernadetta finally finished getting into a cadet’s uniform and lit another candle to examine the new things on her desk.</p><p>A beautiful bouquet of flowers in an ornate red glass vase was the first she examined, with eight different types of flowers, complete with a pitcher plant bulb centered in the middle. It was like the seven other flowers were guarding the central one. A glance at the card nearby the vase showed it was from Ferdinand. She smiled briefly at his thoughtfulness.</p><p>The next thing on her desk was an adorable and loveable armored bear stuffy, complete with stitched sword and armor. The soft brown eyes of glass seemed gentle and loving in the dim light in a way she couldn’t remember her parents’ eyes ever being. The note by its side indicated it was from Caspar, complete with his attempts at writing out a bear’s growling roar.</p><p>A small clear vial full of some strange liquid with a cork stopper and a lengthy note with precise instructions was next. It was from Hubert. The note explained that this may help slow her heart rate down and assist her in feeling calmness, when only one drop (one being underlined several times) was mixed with a full glass of water. She looked back to her nightstand to see a half-empty water glass. So that was why she was feeling so calm. But also so listless, too, like she wasn’t even the real Bernadetta. She appreciated the thought, but she wasn’t sure if she liked what she was feeling. Maybe it was better than risking fainting or running away, though. She would have to think about it.</p><p>The following two items were a small leather bound blank journal that could be locked with a small silver key, from Dorothea, and a wickedly sharp and serrated hunting dagger from Petra. They had signed their note together, with Dorothea’s message being loving and understanding, and Petra’s cheerfully optimistic and practical. Bernadetta’s eyes watered at the thought of having such kind and considerate friends.</p><p>Linhardt’s gift was a book, obviously. But at least it looked like an interesting book, and not just about Crests. Opening it, Bernadetta was astonished to see it was a book full of fables, about a young girl who unexpectedly found herself in a fantastical world full of animate golems made of straw and metal, funny talking animals and cute tiny people, witches who were afraid of water and evil small bearded kings who were afraid of eggs. The heroes and their friends didn’t fight or kill anyone, but instead used their words and cleverness to win the day. It was super inspirational for her own writing. She made a mental note to send a especially detailed thank you note to her sleeping friend in the doorway.</p><p>Bernadetta calmed herself from reading any more the wonderful stories and looked at the final gift. It was a single white envelope, written in Edelgard’s firm but flowing hand, with her name on it. It was sealed with red wax in the mark of Adrestian Imperial royalty; a double headed eagle.</p><p>Bernadetta hesitated, her anxiety trying to bubble up through her drug-induced calmness, making her feel all weird and awkward, even when she was by herself. Then she noticed a small white notecard that was laid beneath the envelope. She turned it over. It was also in Edelgard’s handwriting.</p><p>
  <em>It’s okay. You can open it.</em>
</p><p>Below the writing was a crude picture of a smiley face. Edelgard’s handwriting was almost calligraphy, but her drawing skills definitely needed some work. That was something Bernadetta could show her, she mused, before becoming confused with herself. Show the future Emperor how to draw? What was she thinking? Stupid Bernie. Idiot.</p><p>But still, she felt mainly reassured as well as that special warm feeling again in her stomach and spine. Bernadetta blinked her tears away and fairly ripped open Edelgard’s letter. She slowly moved to sit by the bed to read it by the candlelight.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>Dearest Bern (Dorothea assures me that you prefer to be called by that nickname),</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am so sorry.</em>
</p><p><em>I--</em>(there were several large inkblots here)<em>--I have some understanding of what you have been through with your parents. None of us can choose the families of our birth. And you never need to apologize for who you are to me. Even through your nerves and your fears, you have shown me that you are a kind soul, full of love and acceptance. And bravery. When I consider how hard it is for you to be here at the Academy, it furthers my own resolve and determination.</em></p><p>
  <em>Our gardening sessions together have been delightful. You have shown me how much hard work it takes to help make things grow and thrive. It is my fondest wish that our gifts give you the strength to join me in the dirt once more. I need you to deal with the bugs and the voles for me, or otherwise I won’t have the courage to be there all alone without you.</em>
</p><p><em>I hope I am not overstepping myself, but I would like for you to be close to me in the future. You have awakened something in me, and I must confess I feel the desire to protect that at all costs. When I am Emperor</em>--</p><p>Here were several more inkblots, indicating numerous lines crossed out.</p><p><em>Hubert is by my side and is warning me about risks and trust, but he is SUCH A BOTHER.</em> (Bernadetta giggled aloud as she read that.) <em>My point remains that I would like for you to be with me in Enbarr after graduation from Garreg Mach. As an officer in my armies, if you can manage, but you have taught me that not everyone and everything should be sacrificed on the altar of battle and war. For what is the point otherwise? Perhaps I can find you another post? Imperial Gardener, maybe, or perhaps my Imperial Dressmaker? Or maybe you can be my Imperial-Whatever, and we can find you an official title down the line.</em></p><p>
  <em>But I never want you to return to your old home at Varley Manor unless it is with me by your side.</em>
</p><p>(Bernadetta’s breath caught in her throat as she read that.)</p><p>
  <em>Do you understand me? That is no longer your home. That was never your home. Your home...is in Enbarr. Or will be, in the future. If it is acceptable to you. You are under my protection, and if I have to, I will make you a ward of House Hresvelg.</em>
</p><p>(The handwriting was rushed and tiny at the bottom of the page after this.)</p><p>
  <em>Hubert is bothering me again and is trying to steal this letter away from me to burn it, but I will not be swayed from this course. No one will strike you again in anger if I can help it, Bernadetta. If you will allow this of me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please consider my offer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your friend and gardening mate,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Edelgard von Hresvelg</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Bernadetta cried so hard in happiness, she woke up Linhardt.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>A week later in Verdant Rain Moon, Bernadetta had managed to finally thank all of her classmates with letters (she was still too shy to do so in person) and small tokens of thanks in return, such as little poems about them or small embroidered patches. Ferdinand and Petra and Dorothea had already thanked her in return. Dorothea and Petra had hugged her tightly, and Bernadetta even managed to hug them back.</p><p>She still didn’t know what to do for Edelgard.</p><p>The Imperial Princess treated her no differently than before during this week. She was still curt and direct in classes, blunt and forthright in training, and stoic and abstracted in all other activities, even in the dining hall. It was like nothing had happened at all.</p><p>Bernadetta was wondering if she imagined everything beforehand. Even the letter, which was still crumpled and folded and tearstained beneath her pillow in her dorm room. She reread it every night before bed.</p><p>That all changed on Friday afternoon as she walked to the greenhouse for gardening duty.</p><p>“There you are,” declared Edelgard, already fastidiously adorned in her wide white dirt-stained smock. Bernadetta rushed into the greenhouse, hastily trying to get her own gloves and apron on at the same time.</p><p>“Sorry! Petra was trying to train me in hunting. It, um...didn’t go very well. I got a bite,” Bernadetta pleaded in explanation, showing her scabbed finger before she pulled on her gloves.</p><p>Edelgard peered at it. “From what?”</p><p>Now she blushed. “Um...a bunny rabbit,” she admitted.</p><p>The Imperial Princess gawked for a moment, before throwing her white head back and laughing loudly. Bernadetta would have normally felt ashamed and ran away at this point, but Edelgard’s laughter made her feel warm. And special. It was rich and musical, and she wanted her Edelgard to do it for her over and over again.</p><p>Her Edelgard? Bernadetta slapped her own face. Stupid. Unmarriageable.</p><p>Edelgard had composed herself to notice. She reached out and grabbed Bernadetta’s hands with her white gloves, gripping them firmly, her lips firm. “I’m sorry, Bernadetta. I wasn’t laughing at you.”</p><p>The moment, along with everything before, overwhelms her. Despite taking a sip of Hubert’s medicine, Bernadetta struggled slightly in the grip, but soon collapsed against the Princess in humiliation. “I--I’m sorry...for b-being such a b-bother…” she wept despairingly.</p><p>“Shush, Bernie,” said Edelgard as she held her close.</p><p>She sagged against the Princess’s firm body at that point. The moment was more than she could endure, despite all of Hubert’s potions. She was weak. She was worthless. She was stupid. Why did Edelgard care about her, of all people? She cried and cried, and the most astonishing thing of all was that Edelgard was letting her do so, against her noble and royal body. The realization of that fact just made her cry even more.</p><p>“Bernadetta.”</p><p>She hugged Edelgard tighter.</p><p>“Bernadetta. It’s time to work.”</p><p>She finally composed herself and stepped back, wiping her tears and snot away with her bare hands from her red puffy face. Edelgard regarded her calmly the entire time, as if she knew what Bernadetta would do before she did it herself. It was strange, to say the least.</p><p>She couldn’t look at someone so pretty and composed. But she had to say something. “I guess...instead of I’m sorry...I should say thank you?” Bernadetta finally whispered.</p><p>Edelgard nodded gravely at her. “That is acceptable. You are very welcome, Bernadetta. Let us work first, then we’ll speak.”</p><p>Nodding back, Bernadetta rushed to fill the watering cans from the river, as Edelgard moved to collect weeds and check for pests throughout the plants. Bernadetta was bringing in her tenth can inside when she heard Edelgard give a small shriek.</p><p>Bernadetta dropped the watering can with a splatter and hurried inside the greenhouse.</p><p>“Edelgard? What’s wrong?” she spluttered as she saw the Princess covering her face with her white dirt-stained gloves.</p><p>A muffled sound came from behind Edelgard’s hands.</p><p>“Um...I didn’t hear you.”</p><p>Edelgard’s voice finally came forth clearly between her fingertips, strained in a way that Bernadetta had never heard before. “There’s a mouse in the corner of the greenhouse.”</p><p>Bernadetta’s slate eyes brightened. “Oh! You mean Michael and Minerva? Yes, they just built a nest and I think they just had babies.” She looked closely as Edelgard shuddered at each word she said, as if enduring a blow. “Um...I could move them if you want?” she asked. She noticed Edelgard was shaking, throughout her entire body. “Or need. This looks like something you need.”</p><p>The royal white mane bobbed up and down. Edelgard was still frozen in place, in the center of the greenhouse. The Imperial Princess of Adrestia attempted to control her trembling, ever so slightly.</p><p>Feeling oddly light and secure, Bernadetta hummed an aimless tune as she went to retrieve a pail and small trowel, as well as part of a broken clay pot that had shattered the week earlier that she had saved. She moved carefully through the branches and fallen leaves to the place where she remembered the nest would be.</p><p>As she suspected, Michael and Minerva and their kids were not happy when she dug up their cozy tight little nest they had made of sticks and straw, but were placated by a biscuit of hardtack from her pocket that they nibbled at. She took the pail out of the greenhouse, moving to carefully place and secure the next in a corner of the dormitory gardens, out of sight of the hungry kitties. The broken pot covering the nest would give the mice at least a fighting chance at hiding from them, thought Bernadetta as she secured it as tightly as she could with loose bricks and rocks. It was under one of the ornamental bushes, and that was the best she could do.</p><p>Still humming lightly, Bernadetta nearly skipped back to the greenhouse. She saw Edelgard was just beginning to compose herself, wiping the corners of her eyes with her dirty white gloves, but smiling at Bernadetta just the same.</p><p>“All done,” said Bernadetta, feeling proud to report to her class superior. She knew she had done something good and did it well.</p><p>Edelgard had finally composed herself enough to remove her hands from her face. But still, her lips were slightly parted for air, showing the Imperial teeth. Bernadetta didn’t ever think she had ever seen Edelgard’s teeth before. Of course they were perfect. Straight and white and clean, behind pale red lips.</p><p>Her constant self-deprecating thoughts flew through her, trying to punish her with fly-by attacks. <em>Stupid. Worthless.</em> But somehow those thoughts were just so much background noise now in her strange brain. She stood obediently in front of Edelgard for her approval.</p><p>Edelgard took in a deep breath and slowly, visibly calmed herself. “Thank you, Bernadetta.”</p><p>She shook her head. “No trouble.”</p><p>The Imperial brow furrowed. “I know that must have been…”</p><p>“No trouble at all for Bernie,” she sang and smiled, swaying back and forth. Why did she feel so confident and happy with Edelgard now? She didn’t know and she didn’t care. She just knew she was going to enjoy it for as long as possible.</p><p>Edelgard still looked pensive and thoughtful. “I am sure you think less of me now…”</p><p>Eek. That sounded bad. That sounded like...herself. When she was hating herself. She couldn’t bear to see Edelgard do the same. Bernadetta grabbed the closest thing belonging to Edelgard she could find.</p><p>Her grubby gloved fists closed on strands of white hair.</p><p>“Ow,” said Edelgard as tilted her head obligingly to the side.</p><p>Bernadetta knew the moment was awkward as all hell. But then again, she was the most awkward person on the planet, wasn’t she? But still, Edelgard liked her. Thought good things about her. She might even--</p><p>The words tumbled out of her before she could stop them. “I’m sorry but I have to tell you thank you for everything you’ve done for me and it made me feel so special and I’ve never felt like that before in my life and I never thanked you for all the presents you gave me so you must think I’m super rude and thoughtless but it’s just because you’re so special I couldn’t think of something proper plus I don’t care if you’re scared of mice I’m sure you have a good reason to be and I would never think less of you ever never ever because you’ve been my only friend in the whole wide world and I think I--”</p><p>“Bernadetta!” interrupted Edelgard firmly.</p><p>She let go of the Princess’ hair and shrieked at her effrontery, collapsing and covering her eyes after her bout of bravery. “Oh Goddess! You must hate me now! If I know the Empress is afraid of mice! Then I’m compromised! Liquidate me gently! Have Hubert feed my remains to the fish! AHHHH!!”</p><p>“No!” rang out the Imperial Princess, even as Bernadetta collapsed to her knees. Edelgard fell on top of her.</p><p>Bernadetta hugged herself tightly and wept bitterly. It was all over now. She had destroyed her very last chance of happiness with her foolishness.</p><p>(Bernadetta)</p><p>She would have to go back home to her parents. They would just beat her for the rest of her life. It was no more than she deserved. For being so stupid and worthless.</p><p>(Bernadetta, look at me)</p><p>Edelgard hated her now. That meant all the rest of the Black Eagle Class hated her. Along with everyone else at the Academy. Everyone hated her. She was Bernie.</p><p>Stupid. (Her dented skull under her bangs ached from where her father had hit her repeatedly in childhood.)</p><p>Worthless. (Her scarred hands and fingertips stung from where her mother had burned her over and over during cooking lessons.)</p><p>Unmarriageable. (The ropes bit her flesh in the chair as something inside of herself both ached and stung, something that would never be answered and she would never be worthy of, never ever ever ever…)</p><p>(Bernadetta!!)</p><p>Bernadetta opened her eyes to face the dreaded lilac orbs.</p><p>Edelgard’s face was so close to her own she could feel her breath. But the Princess’ intensity held in place as she spoke, a white glove holding her chin firmly as Edelgard spoke to her. “I will NEVER hate you. Do you understand?”</p><p>Bernadetta nodded dumbly in response.</p><p>“Words, Bernie.”</p><p>She managed to swallow past the gorge in her throat. “Yes, Edelgard,” she whispered.</p><p>“Yes what?” The Imperial Princess was ruthless.</p><p>“I understand...you will never hate me.” Somehow, saying that eased a tightness in her chest. She started to feel lighter again, even though she was hunched on the ground, amongst the cobblestoned dirt. Where she belonged.</p><p>“Good. Then get up.” The Imperial Princess rose in all of her red and black and white dirt stained majesty. And made no move to assist her.</p><p>Slowly, Bernadetta got up on her own, but kept her eyes averted from the Princess.</p><p>She felt more than saw Edelgard shake her head and sigh. “We can’t keep doing this.”</p><p>Bernadetta rapidly shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault. It’s me. I just get...reminded, sometimes. It’s my stupid fault. It’s my stupid past,” she rapidly muttered.</p><p>“That’s not what I--” Another long breath. “Look. Let’s just finish together in silence. Sometimes it’s better to communicate without words.”</p><p>“No, it’s me, Edelgard--”</p><p>“No words, Bernie,” the Princess reprimanded her instantly, making her flinch, but then her voice softened. “Let’s finish watering the plants. And weeding them. I’ll go get the pegasus...blessings,” muttered Edelgard, moving past her to the stables. She was talking to herself, but Bernadetta could hear her. “Ugh...why do they even call them that…?” as her voice faded into the distance.</p><p>That comment made her smile, and gave her the confidence to stay. She would have run back to her room, otherwise. It felt so nice to know Edelgard thought the same things she did.</p><p>Maybe they felt the same way about a lot of things.</p><p>And perhaps Edelgard...would never hit her.</p><p>And could keep her safe.</p><p>From her parents. </p><p>Forever.</p><p>They finished their chores together in silence, with Edelgard returning after Bernadetta had filled all of the watering cans. The sight of the Imperial Princess helping her break up the clumps of barely digested foul smelling hay and feed next to her and spreading them on the plants grounded Bernadetta in a way she had never before considered. Even as they watered and fertilized all of the plants, somehow they were always wending by each other to touch elbows or hips as they passed each other. Each bump sent a thrill through Bernadetta, all the way down to the bottom of her spine. She soon became grateful for Edelgard’s command of silence, because it gave her the confidence and poise necessary for the next step.</p><p>Before they were finished, she had clipped a few carnations with her shears. Now she hid them behind her back as Edelgard was discarding her apron and gloves.</p><p>The Imperial Princess bowed her head as she washed their hands in a clean bucket of water. “I am sorry, Bernadetta. You may have thought I was--”</p><p>“NO! Um, here!” Bernie thrust her bounty towards Edelgard’s beautiful, elegant face. A face that should never be downcast.</p><p>“Oh! Ah, Bernie...I mean Bernadetta! How sweet! My favorite!” smiled Edelgard, once she had accepted her bounty. It was such a special smile. Edelgard should smile more, she thought absently in the awkward moment.</p><p>“Ummm…” Bernadetta hummed as she swayed back and forth.</p><p>Edelgard smiled brilliantly through the carnations at her face, making her attractive beyond words. “Well Bernadetta? Do you have something to say?”</p><p>Bernie flushed in her face, but she couldn’t stop now, could she? The alternative was worse. Way, way, worse. Being embarrassed with Edelgard...<em>felt good</em>. She could withstand this. She had to! “Um...Lady Edelgard...I hum, ah, I mean I um, errr….accept your generous offer!” she burst out in a hesitant rush.</p><p>Princess Edelgard suddenly seemed content to toy with her. “Oh? To what position?” she queried.</p><p>Bernie hugged herself, but told herself she could be brave. She could be real. Edelgard was her...protector. That felt right. So she answered truthfully.</p><p>Maybe it was best to be formal? This was royalty, after all! Bernadetta hastily bent her knee before her House Leader. “Um...I’d like to be...your...Imperial...Whatever,” she blushed shyly from the stone tiles where she knelt before the Imperial Princess. </p><p>“Please get up, Bernie,” said Edelgard, smiling with her red carnations hiding her face. Was Edelgard slightly red? No, it was her imagination. Still, her strong arm lifted up Bernadetta effortlessly, and a slight thrill suddenly touched Bernie’s heart and legs. It was real, wasn’t it? It was really real! Truly, ineffably, inescapably real! She felt that way! And Bernie felt the same way too!</p><p>“Lady Edelgard!” Hubert’s voice called from outside the greenhouse. An unwelcome intrusion back to reality.</p><p>Edelgard’s voice was cross as she called back. “What is it, Hubert?”</p><p>“A House Leader Meeting. Lady Flayn has gone missing. We are organizing search parties,” said the disembodied voice.</p><p>“Ugh…I’ll be right there!” Lady Edelgard whined before her, her face crunching into cute and adorable lines in Bernadetta’s eyes. Her face was averted for a moment, but then the porcelain mask was back in place...although a small smirk lingered. “Thank you for the kind gift, Bernadetta. And...I accept your offer...although I may want you to help me in the Imperial gardens from time to time.” She released her arm with compainable ease.</p><p>It was a challenge, but Bernie heard it. She smiled back at her...friend. A real, true friend! This feeling was amazing! She smiled shyly back. “Well...that’s what an Imperial-Whatever does, right?”</p><p>“Indeed,” smiled Edelgard back. “I’ll put these in my room. Thank you again...Bernie.” With a flick of a red cape, Edelgard left the greenhouse, although she looked back meaningfully at Bernadetta as she closed the doors.</p><p>Bernie could only wait a few seconds before she nearly screamed in happiness. She muffled it with her hands. <em>OH. MY. GODDESS.</em></p><p>She was too discombobulated to remember much after Edelgard left. The future was too exciting, and her mind ran with it. The Imperial-Whatever! Whatever that meant! Oh, she could see herself now, measuring every inch of Edelgard to make dresses or clothing or armor for her, writing speeches for the Emperor and her Ministers, watching proudly as Edelgard’s beautiful lips spoke her words, gardening a beautiful Imperial atrium just for the two of them to walk together in and take tea together, and cooking delicious meals they could both share together, feeding each other creamy desserts that they could then taste again when they…</p><p>She realized she was pacing back and forth, and the wringing of her hands had reopened her scab from where Mr. Bunny had bit her. Darn. Now she was getting blood all over the greenhouse from her bitten finger.</p><p>A twitch of movement caught her eye.</p><p>Looking back, she saw the small sad plant she had brought with her from Varley Manor was...lurching? Towards the pit-pats of blood on the cobbles?</p><p>Like it was hungry.</p><p>For blood.</p><p>Cautiously, Bernadetta edged nearer to the plant in its plot, noting that it almost seemed...<em>frantic</em>...in its motions. The pot was moving, even as the bulb lurched again and again towards the spots of blood on the cobbles.</p><p>She had always loved carnivorous plants, hadn’t she? Slowly, wondering, Bernadetta held her bloody finger above the small bulb and let a drop fall.</p><p>The bulb <em>snapped</em> at the droplet, and instantly seemed to grow and appear greener, fuller, <em>healthier</em>. It was astonishing. A plant that drank blood…</p><p>Bernadetta added a few more drops, getting the same reaction each time. And the plant seemed to...grow? It was amazing. It was incredible. A chill stole through her, even in the hot and humid greenhouse.</p><p>She was the only person who knew about it.</p><p>A strange confidence filled Bernadetta.  This was it. This was the way she was going to prove to <strong><em>EVERYONE</em></strong>...not just Edelgard...that she was special. She was important.</p><p>Bernie named the plant Edelgard the Second.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Girl, Be An Assassin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bernadetta's new plant duties...as well as a new classmate...force her from Edelgard's side.</p><p>Bernie accidently makes a new friend when discussing her new "habit."</p><p>But Bernadetta is still training hard for the upcoming Battle of Eagle and Lion.  And a new noble visitor throws everything into sharp clarity for her.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, these didn't mesh nearly as well as I hoped...I kept rewriting my outlines...but now I think I've got a firm plot, hopefully as darkly comic as the real musical (and how we know FE games tend to be).</p><p>Also, sorry for the late Content Note.  I get so excited when I finally finish something and it's ready to post!  Forgive me.</p><p>CN/TW:  Cutting, abuse, implications of animal abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chapter 2:  Girl, Be An Assassin</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta decided she didn’t like Monica von Ochs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First off, </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the Imperial-Whatever.  Wasn’t she?  But ever since the Blue Lions had fought the Death Knight and his scary army underground, the old redhead Black Eagle had done everything she could to monopolize Edelgard’s time.  Second, Monica even called her “Edel.”  Bernadetta frowned at that thought, writing furiously into her diary in her room.  She was almost certain Edelgard didn’t even like nicknames.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Monica was such an obstacle that Edelgard had barely had time to visit her namesake.  Bernadetta’s plant quickly gained the attention of the entire monastery.  Professor Hanneman was actually curious, wondering if this was the first case of a plant with a Crest.  Tomas the librarian soon visited the greenhouse, gazing silently in his uncanny manner at Bernadetta as she went about her greenhouse chores, making her nervous and forcing her to privately feed Edelgard II at nighttime.  Since feeding the plant a discreet diet of blood from her veins, Edelgard Two had grown to such an extent that Bernie didn’t have planting pots big enough for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The vibrant, lucious, chromatic bulb had grown to such a size that Bernadetta had finally needed Dedue’s help in repotting it, in one of the largest custom made masonry planter they could build.  What was more alarming, however, was how Bernadetta had to keep swatting Edelgard II’s mouth (</span>
  <em>
    <span>mouths?  Plants had mouths?  And teeth?!) </span>
  </em>
  <span>from nipping at Dedue’s large hands while he was helping her.  Edelgard II behaved, but barely, and Dedue was raising a lone white brow on his expressionless face at her by the end of their chore.  She stammered out a graceless apology and thanked him generously for his help, bowing repeatedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone had come to admire it and see Edelgard II’s strange foliage, coruscating colors, and exotic hanging vines..  Ashe was shocked and delighted, shaken at last out of his torpor over that nasty business with his stepdad, and excitedly asked if he could have a graft or seeds for his gardens.  Sylvain joked that Edelgard II was almost as pretty as the real deal, which caused a groaning sigh from Felix and a reprimanding swat from Ingrid.  Hilda and Lorenz were bored, Raphael confused, but Ignatz was already doing sketches of the strange plant in his spare time (he promised a copy for Bernadetta), while Lysithea and Claude kept poking at Edelgard II’s leaves and vines, pestering Bernie for </span>
  <em>
    <span>samples.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She timidly explained that Edelgard II was still growing and needed to root in its new soil; perhaps, when it finally bloomed, she could get them some seeds.  They grumbled in acquiescence.  In the meantime, Prince Dimitri and Professor Byleth were mildly interested and observant, inquiring how much water and nutrients a plant like that must need.  Bernie laughed nervously at their questions and swayed back and forth while giving a stammering explanation, rubbing her aching, sore wrists through her uniform sleeves the entire time and hoping the others didn’t see how pale and drawn she appeared.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like Edelgard II, Bernadetta beamed and blossomed at the attention, even while she wished the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> Edelgard was here with her, sharing the accolades with her.  But the rest of the Black Eagles had rallied around her, admiring her plant and herself in equal measure, and it was a wonderful feeling.  Even the perpetually dour Hubert and the oblivious Caspar had complimented her.  Dorothea and Petra had crushed her in a hug between them in congratulations at her achievement, and Bernadetta almost thought she had died and gone to heaven.  Such unconditional acceptance...felt good.  It felt right.  There were people around her who...welcomed her.  Liked her, even.  What else could she do, but like them right back, ten times as much?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she still missed Edelgard I.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps because of her newfound popularity in the greenhouse, Professor Manuela pulled Bernadetta aside one day after class (and nearly gassed her with her breath) warning her that the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was coming up in the next two weeks, and no matter how much they might wish it, gardening probably would not help them in the large scale mock battle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Against her wishes, Bernadetta reluctantly made her way to the training grounds, her training bow on her shoulder and her short sword on her hip, the late afternoon sun already giving way to a hint of Wyvern Moon evening chill.  She absently wondered if Edelgard II would do well in Ethereal Moon weather…along with the thought that Edelgard I would look absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span> under snowy moonlight...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A flash of red and white hair materialized before her sunken eyes, and she gasped as the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> Edelgard and Monica von Ochs stood before her as they were exiting the training grounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bernadetta, are you quite alright?” said Edelgard, pale irises slightly widening at her appearance.  She could feel her forearms ache and itch beneath her wool uniform as she bobbed her head in the affirmative.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, you’re that plant girl everyone’s been talking about, right?  Nice to meetcha, I’m Monica von Ochs,” smiled the other scarlet haired girl, her face uncomfortably close to her own as she groped her hand.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta tried to weakly shake her off.  “Uhm...hi,” she stammered, for lack of any better options, her anger and jealousy warring with her fatigue.  “I’m just...off to train for the Battle of Eagle and Lion…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhg, I’m soooo jealous!” nodded Monica, her hand on a wicked looking knife on her belt.  “I wanted to participate so badly, but that stuffy old loser Seteth wouldn’t let me.  He said it would be unfair to the other classes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps it’s all for the best then,” said Edelgard coldly to her companion.  Bernadetta felt a brief flicker of hope at those words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Edel</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you know how much we were looking forward to having </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the battlefield,” smiled Monica, a wicked cast to her lips.  “I was interested to see how the brats this year would measure up…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What certification exams did you take last year?” asked Bernadetta, sensing something weird going on but trying to contribute to the conversation in front of Edelgard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Monica’s face was genuinely confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh…” Bernadetta was equally confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe Monica managed to pass the Assassin Certification Exam last year.  Before her unfortunate abduction.  Isn’t that right, Monica?” said Edelgard, trying to nudge the other noblewoman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t touch me!  I can…” hissed Monica, her face twisting sharply while Edelgard calmly regarded her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abruptly, the strange girl’s mood shifted once more.  “I’m sorry,” she grinned, taking her hand off her belt dagger.  “That was rude.  Bad memories from captivity.  I’m sure you understand, Edel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” nodded Edelgard grimly.  Both women were focused entirely on another, Bernadetta forgotten beneath them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta started shifting nervously between the two.  Hopefully she could placate them somehow with conversation, although she was terrible at it.  Monica was strangely mercurial, and she could tell it was stressing Edelgard.  “Uhm, I’m also hoping to take the Assassin Certification Exam soon too.  See?” she offered, pointing to her weapons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tension eased slightly as Monica looked back at her dismissively.  “You?  Be an assassin?”  She threw her head back and laughed loudly.  “I don’t think you’re cut out for it, kid.  Killing weeds doesn’t count.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernie felt her lips make a small pout.  “How did you become one, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Monica gave her a lazy smile.  “I have a talent...for causing things pain,” she grinned broadly, glancing back at Edelgard.  “Living things.  You have to know your, well let’s just say, anatomy to execute a sneak attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe Bernadetta knows her anatomy,” said Edelgard crossly, a fist on her hip.  Bernadetta felt her heart thrill at Edelgard’s defense of her.  “In fact, last month…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, but it’s not just knowing this stuff, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>using</span>
  </em>
  <span> it,” laughed Monica again, rudely interrupting.  “This poor girl doesn’t even look like she could kill a kitten.  Or even a puppy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-you kill kittens and puppies?” said Bernadetta in utter horror as her hands flew to her mouth, feeling sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh sure.  I’ve had to kill all sorts of filthy little beasts in my time.”  Monica gave her the evil red smile once more, before turning to Edelgard.  “Well, we should get going, shouldn’t we Edel?  Let’s leave little miss Killer here so she can get on with her training.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Princess looked angry at Monica.  “I hope you will refrain from harming any animals within the walls of Garreg Mach, Monic-ya,” she said, dragging out the vowels of the other girl’s name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I hope you don’t get too attached to any strays that you come across, E-</span>
  <em>
    <span>del</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” sneered Monica back to the Princess, brushing past Bernadetta’s shoulder.  “Coming?” the strange noblewoman demanded of her Princess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The redhead noble and white haired Princess stared each other down for another long moment, while Bernadetta gazed back and forth between them.  Something </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> odd was going on here, but then Edelgard looked back at her in concern.  Bernadetta held her breath at the worry in those lilac orbs and noble face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edelgard...was afraid.  About something.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please take care of yourself, Bernie.  I’ll...try to make some time for you soon,” said the Imperial Princess softly, and soon she was reluctantly following in the skipping Monica's shadow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta stared at Edelgard’s back for a long time, before another student bumping into her rudely--Felix--brought her back to reality.  Sighing, she entered the training grounds and headed to one of the nearby archery lanes, grabbing a spare quiver of crude practice arrows.  She unslung her bow and carefully stretched for a moment, but soon found herself leaning against a pillar as even the mild exertion tired her out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you okay?  You look kinda exhausted,” asked Leonie, lowering her draw in the lane next to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine!  I’m just...fine.  Too many late nights, haha!” stuttered Bernadetta as she set some arrows on the sandy ground before her and notched an arrow towards the target.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re sure...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She managed to get through a full quiver of arrows, although her right arm was almost spasming in involuntary muscle tremors by the time she was done.  She clenched and unclenched her fingers, feeling numb tingles in her extremities, as well as feeling lightheaded.  Ignoring another look from Leonie, she gathered her arrows and returned them.  Unable to bear any scrutiny, Bernadetta hurried over to the training dummies, setting her bow aside to unsheathe her wooden training sword.  Marianne was practicing on the dummy next to her, lunging forward while also trying to stare at her feet to check her footwork.  Bernadetta recognized the mistake, knowing that was a bad habit she shared with the girl and that it might get her seriously wounded--or killed--in live combat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta slowly practiced next to Marianne, going through her entire repertoire of moves, slashes, thrusts, parries, and ripostes, trying to move naturally with the sword gripped in her numb hand.  More often than not, she dropped her sword, but Marianne was dropping hers almost as much.  She had bonded with the shy Golden Deer girl over being mutual klutzes, but not much else.  Marianne liked chapel and stable duty, while Bernadetta was more often in the greenhouse or the kitchens.  They hardly talked or ever crossed paths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta had finally built up a sweat, but now the training grounds were starting to spin.  She turned to where the water barrels in the training hall would be, barely able to lift her feet, but she sternly reminded herself she couldn’t afford to faint.  If someone took her to the infirmary and they saw her arms…what she had been doing to feed Edelgard II...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” whispered a quiet voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A large cup of water was placed gently in her hands.  Bernadetta couldn’t do much more than sit down on her rump of the sandy arena floor and drink deeply, bursting out with shuddering gasps of air after each gulp.  Weakly, she wordlessly held the cup out and after a few moments, and it was replaced with another full one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she had finally had drunk her fill, she opened her eyes to see Marianne’s pale waxen face looking down at her in concern.  They were sitting behind one of the pillars in the training hall, out of sight of the other students in the dim shadows.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Marianne,” whispered Bernadetta in gratitude.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The teal haired beauty--not that she knew it--timidly looked away from her.  Finally she whispered.   “I’m just glad you’re okay.  I’m sorry...um, sorry to see you’re like me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” asked her classmate, feeling herself rouse a bit.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marianne hung her head in shame.  “I’m sorry.  When I was helping you...I saw them.  But part of it makes me glad.  G-glad to know...I’m not the only one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only what?”  Bernadetta was confused now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silently, Marianne rolled up one of her sleeves on her academy uniform to show her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angry, dark red scabs of varying ages crisscrossed her arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta gaped in horror at the sight, then faced Marianne in near-panic.  “D-don’t...please d-d-don’t ss-say…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t say anything, Bernadetta.  I promise.  I know how that can make things worse,” nodded the Golden Deer noblewoman back at her, rolling down her sleeve and hiding her arm from the world again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both sat together silently for a time in the shadows behind the pillars.  The sounds of the training grounds and the grunts and banter of students suddenly seemed distant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Bernadetta finally asked, in an honest appeal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure,” whispered Marianne, not looking at her and rubbing her arm unconsciously.  “I guess...it was to see what it felt like.  Part of it was me hating myself...hating my body.  Then...I got used to it.  I started to feel bad if I didn’t do it, if I wasn’t hurting during the day.  Like how a wicked thing like me deserves to feel.”  Bernadetta didn’t know what to say to that.  Marianne fell silent again, then looked up at the archer, the question in her brown eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta flushed faintly.  She wasn’t doing this out of any pathological reason.  She was simply taking care of her beloved Edelgard Two!  It just needed all the food and nutrients it could get.  The popularity and praise she got in response for feeding the plant was just incidental.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Under Marianne’s innocent stare, Bernadetta finally wilted.  “Um...I guess doing it makes me feel...special.  Noticed.  Or real.  Maybe all three.  And I know I’m hurting myself...really hurting myself, I know I’m affecting my life by doing it...but don’t want to stop it yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding in perfect understanding and empathy, Marianne gently rose from her knees and assisted Bernadetta to her feet.  “Just be careful, Bernadetta.  I can heal myself with Faith magic, but you can’t.  If you want, I can teach you a few simple spells to help mask it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stared up at Marianne, then flushed in embarrassment and muttered, “Bernie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The taller girl tilted her head in confusion.  “Um, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My friends call me Bernie,” said Bernadetta, trying to weakly smile up to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marianne stared at her for a long moment, then suddenly smiled back...it was a shy, beautiful thing that Bernadetta wanted to keep in a picture forever.  “Okay, Bernie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, through the oddest means possible, Edelgard II had made it possible for her to make a new friend.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Part of what made Bernadetta convinced she could pass the Assassination Exam was that she was becoming </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> good at sneaking around the monastery at night.  Hubert had caught her once earlier in the year, and since then she had started anticipating his evening “security patrols,” as well as Claude and Dimitri’s late night escapades.  (Sylvain usually made enough noise with his “friends” that Bernadetta could easily evade him.)  Dimitri always headed directly for the training grounds or back to his room, and thus was easy to avoid.  Claude was trickier, but he usually ignored the greenhouse in his nocturnal adventures, being more interested in the library and second floor offices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know, I know that’s a very unusual plant and all, but aren’t you overdoing it a little?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smooth tenor behind her made her shriek and leap nearly ten feet into the air.  The full cup of blood she had harvested from herself dropped from her hand and clattered into Edelgard II’s planter, tipping over.  She just hoped the Duke’s heir wouldn’t see it in the dim shadows of the greenhouse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OH!  Uh, uh um, hi!  Um, Claude!  What a pleasant surprise!  Just tidying up Edelgard Two a little bit here, don’t mind me, la di dah!” laughed Bernadetta nervously, trying to hide the shuddering and twitching of the plant behind her.  Edelgard II certainly didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>mind</span>
  </em>
  <span> being watered with blood, but Bernie knew from experience she much preferred the sustenance to go all into her...mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I don’t mind you or your marvelous plant one bit, Bern,” shrugged Claude with a grin.  At least it looked like a friendly grin, and not the sinister ones Monica gave her.  He casually stepped forward, and Bernadetta tried to take an equally casual step backwards, bumping into the pot.  “I’m just curious at where such an interesting specimen came from, is all.”  He spread his arms expansively.  “Imagine the possibilities of discovering a whole new species--or even genus, or even family!--of plants.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you see...I brought her from Varley manor…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edelgard II was starting to jerk and move, and began to nibble at the back of Bernadetta’s uniform.  She spun and swatted at the main bulb in reprimand, then eyed back to Claude.  He merely raised a dark eyebrow at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah...mosquito!  I got him, though!” exclaimed Bernadetta with a nervous giggle.  Edelgard II trembled against her body.  She could swear it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing</span>
  </em>
  <span> at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Riiiight,” nodded Claude slowly in the darkness.  “So what are you doing here?  I mean, it’s a little late to be trimming the verge, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sooo...I just couldn’t sleep!  Yeah!  And I was worried about Edelgard Two, and just came to check on her.  Yup!  That’s all!  Nothing to it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evasiveness doesn’t suit you, Bernadetta,” teased Claude.  “I know you’re hiding a secret with this plant.”  A slow leafy tendril was lowering from the greenhouse ceiling.  It was soon joined by three others, surrounding Claude’s unknowing back.  “And you know how good I am at finding out secrets…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NO!” shrieked Bernadetta.  She dove for him, executing a perfect body tackle, barely evading the swipes of mobile vines that swooshed above their heads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She cautiously glanced back above them as Claude wheezed against her weight.  The four leafy appendages swayed innocently in the moist air of the greenhouse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Claude announced when he regained his breath, seemingly to himself.  “Did not anticipate that reaction.  You really care about this plant, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s mine,” grumbled Bernadetta, too shaken by what almost happened and forced to play along with Claude’s assumptions.  Blushing at their position finally, Bernnadetta hastily got up and moved aside as Claude groaned theatrically and dusted himself off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” he eventually began.  “That’s a definite no.  Unfortunately, you’ve only piqued my interest even more, you realize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The motile vines around his head twitched and began curling once more.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” yelped Bernadetta, then grabbed a pair of nearby shears from a bench.  The vines rose higher behind Claude’s head as he nodded in interest.  “Let’s just compromise for now!  You can have some leaves to study, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A vine tapped Claude’s shoulder  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell--?!  Who’s there?” cried Claude as he spun around.  Bernadetta used the moment to quickly grab one of the plant’s vines and snip a section off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grumbling, subsonic whine echoed through the greenhouse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta felt sorry but not-sorry for Edelgard II.  Her own behavior had brought it upon herself.  “Here Claude!  Take this cutting and go, but that’s all you’re getting for a while, you hear me?” Bernadetta snapped, She shoved the leafy branch into the boy’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He accepted the gift gladly, but eyed Bernadetta and the surrounding shadows of the greenhouse warily.  “What was that sound?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was just...my stomach!  I’m...I’m hungry!  I don’t usually eat during the day, you know,” lied Bernadetta.  She clutched her tummy and pretended to swoon for dramatic effect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Claude still looked deeply skeptical.  “There isn’t someone else here with you, is there Bernie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not!” huffed Bernadetta, crossing her arms with a glare.  “You’re just paranoid.  Your shoulder just brushed one of Edelgard II’s vines, that’s all.  Now if you’re done violating curfew, Bernie would much prefer not being caught along with you.”  She stamped a foot for emphasis. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could feel herself sweat and tremble under his scrutiny, but Claude apparently decided his botanical bounty was worth dropping the matter.  “Whatever you say, Bernadetta.  Nice doing business with you!  I’ll let you know if I find anything interesting, how’s that sound?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hoping Edelgard II wouldn’t pull anything else, Bernadetta nodded stiffly back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Claude winked a green eye and gave her a thumbs up, although he didn’t completely turn his back on her until he was at the greenhouse doors.  Probably holding onto suspicion.  When he had finally bumped against them, he quickly opened the glass doors and stepped through, shutting the latch with a click.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta waited for a full minute to make sure he was gone, then scooted over to Edelgard II’s planter, dropping the shears.  “Edelgard II?  I’m so, so, sorry!  I didn’t mean to hurt you!  It’s just that he wouldn’t leave us alone!  I was trying to make him leave, understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edelgard II groaned softly and nodded.  A vine patted her on the head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling herself beginning to tear up for her friend, she hugged the plant tightly.  It had gotten so big now that her arms couldn’t even go around it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feed me, Bernie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The low whisper made her freeze.  She was just hallucinating things.  Lack of sleep and blood loss could certainly do that.  Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stepped back quickly away from the plant.  Tried to control her rapid breathing and hammering heart.  Peered at it closely.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edelgard II was still and quiet in the greenhouse.  Not even the vines moved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta quickly left the hot and stuffy building, muttering to herself.  She was just too tired.  Was using too much blood to feed her.  That was it.  Edelgard II could move and had a carnivorous mouth for eating, but, y’know, it couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk</span>
  </em>
  <span>, right?  Like a person.  That was crazy.  She was crazy.  Stupid Bernie.  Kooky Bernie.  She just needed some sleep, and to think of a new way to feed her precious plant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Locking her dorm door behind her, Bernadetta’s thoughts drifted to that vile Monica von Ochs who was keeping her from Edelgard I.  She quickly dismissed it.  Monica was too scary and too evil for poor little old Bernie, although it was clear she was trying to isolate her from Edelgard.  No matter how satisfying that might be, but it made for a pleasing fantasy as she slowly made ready for bed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she remembered what Monica had said earlier the previous day.  About an Assassin being willing to kill things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time she had finished, she fairly collapsed on her bed, curling up with the sheets over her head.  Bernadetta decided she would think about it tomorrow.  Or today, since it was already past midnight.  Edelgard II was getting rude and unruly, and she didn’t want it to misbehave and hurt somebody.  Somebody like Claude, or Dedue, or Ashe, who also worked in the greenhouse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernie firmly drew the line at feeding it puppies and kittens though.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hmm</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she wondered in exhaustion on her small pillow as she started to drift off.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>The fishing docks are right next to the greenhouse...and maybe I could get some raw meat from the cafeteria…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It worked, to a degree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edelgard II accepted fresh fish and the bloody chitlins and giblets from the monastery kitchens with greedy satisfaction for a while, although it still nipped at her for some drops of Bernie’s blood as well.  As long as she didn’t have to open a vein, Bernadetta was fine with that.  She had gotten so good with her small collection of daggers and short razors she barely even felt her own skin parting anymore.  Marianne had taught her a quick and easy Faith spell; to her surprise, Bernadetta had picked up the nuances of the magic quickly.  She enthusiastically praised Marianne for being so nice, and the taller girl merely blushed and muttered a dejected thanks.  Bernie briefly marveled with the thought that her new friend might even have more issues than she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The days passed quickly, with classes, training, mealtimes, and the post-curfew scramble to gather enough meat and flesh to satisfy Edelgard II’s bottomless appetite.  She could barely share a glance with Edelgard I during the daytime, as Monica was by her side...</span>
  <em>
    <span>constantly</span>
  </em>
  <span>...and always positioning her own lithe, crimson-haired figure between them.  Bernadetta thought about visiting Edelgard’s room during the night, but the indecency of that thought forestalled her.  Also, her job of acquiring food for Edelgard II preempted much of her time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After they had come together in the greenhouse, it was now forcing them apart.  Tears gathered in Bernadetta’s eyes as she wrote in the journal Dorothea gifted her in her room; she had reread Edelgard One’s private letter to her so often her fingers and tears were smudging the ink from the paper.  It was a bitter metaphor for their relationship.  How did things go so wrong?  She cared about Edelgard, and she knew Edelgard cared about her.  But now...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then a new commotion stirred the monastery halls one Sunday morning.  Lord Arundel, Lord Regent of the Empire, was visiting his niece the Heir.  Supposedly there was a great hubbub and to-do from Church officials and Seteth, as well as the entire Black Eagle House, aware that one of the most powerful nobles in the Empire had come to witness the Battle of Eagle and Lion.  The entire class became sullen with the assumed expectations and added pressure, and the training regimens stepped up to even higher intensities.  Professor Manuela was actually scared sober, for once, and Bernadetta found herself having to take notes and study pincer attacks, cavalry formations, and phalanxes to a depth she hadn’t imagined.  This cut down on her feeding regimen, and she found herself having to steal even greater amounts of meat from the cafeteria.  To her eternal relief and shame, Raphael and Caspar received the blame for the missing foodstuffs from the monastery staff.  Caspar protested loudly and verbosely, but Raphael simply shrugged and accepted the extra training laps dutifully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In such an environment, Bernadetta could barely pay attention to any of the general commotion, and it depressed her because it meant she saw Edelgard even </span>
  <em>
    <span>less.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  This Sunday was the last day she could take the Assassin Certification Exam before the mock battle, and she was beyond nervous, adrift in some other-worldly state of fatigue where adrenaline governed all her actions, making her feel preternaturally calm when she was so, so NOT.  Professor Byleth was proctoring her practicum, while Professor Hanneman was in charge of her written exam in the classroom this afternoon.  She was fingering her training sword and bow nervously outside the closed doors of the Knight’s training hall, still feeling slightly weak and fearing she might be the first Assassin student to faint during their exam.  Professor Byleth was within, arranging the room for her test, which would test her stealth, archery, swordplay, and lockpicking skills.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The numb haze of her nervous fatigue was disturbed by voices that were coming up the paths from the gardens and the stables, becoming louder as they walked the monastery’s western paths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...I am quite pleased young Monica has adjusted so well to her old routine.  Though it was disappointing that she won’t be able to participate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid the matter was out of my hands completely.  Lord Seteth made the decision, and I was hardly in the position to add my input.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dear niece, I’m sure you made a </span>
  <em>
    <span>grand</span>
  </em>
  <span> effort on her behalf…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voices lowered into harsh whispers, but Bernadetta clearly recognized Edelgard’s voice, arguing with someone.  A man, with a voice that could only be described as dull and disinterested in everything.  They slowly came into view, not noticing her in the shadows of the archway to the Knight’s Hall.  The man was imperiously dressed in red and white robes and had his thinning black oiled hair slicked back over his crown, complete with a nobly groomed goatee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been so long since she had seen Edelgard without her scarlet haired shadow, that Bernadetta spoke up without thinking.  “Oh!  Um, hey Edelgard!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both the Princess and the man turned towards her form hidden in the morning shade, each startled but hiding it well.  As they stepped near her, Bernadetta blinked to see the man had the same lilac pupils that Edelgard possessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And who may I have the pleasure of addressing?” inquired the gentleman in a silky baritone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncle, may I introduce to you Lady Bernadetta von Varley, daughter Count and Comtesse Varley,” said Edelgard, with a slight step forward between her and the mysterious Lord and extending a white gloved hand.  “Bernadetta, you may know of my Uncle, Lord Volkhard von Arundel,” said the Princess, with her own gaze imploring.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, yes, Lord-Regent, um, sir!  Pleased to meet you!” sweated Bernadetta in a hasty bow.  If not for the comforting presence of Edelgard nearby, she would have definitely fainted dead by now.  Even her own father feared Lord Arundel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes, the gardener,” smiled Arundel, inclining his head slightly.  “A most intriguing specimen you have found, Lady Varley.  My old friend Tomas has written to me extensively about it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m...most pleased...to make your acquaintance, my Lord!  If you’d like, I can introduce you to my plant....but I’m afraid Edelgard the Second only responds to me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s eyes widened.  “Edelgard...Second….?”  he said slowly.  He seemed to breathe deeply and slowly as he rounded on his niece.  “How...</span>
  <em>
    <span>interesting</span>
  </em>
  <span> to learn about this...just now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edelgard stiffened next to her, her muscles bunched tightly in her jaw as she swallowed, yet to her credit, she held her uncle’s gaze firmly.  But whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the Professor opening the Training Room.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re ready for you, Bernadetta,” announced the Professor in her blank voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Edelgard…?” whispered a panicked Bernadetta, glancing back and forth between the suddenly tense uncle and niece, who were challenging each other in a way Bernie recognized from her own family dynamics.  Edelgard was trying to manage to make herself rise taller and meet her uncle’s glare, but he loomed over her like some kind of threatening storm cloud.  Bernadetta’s stomach churned as she realized this was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> fault, that she had caused this situation, even as Professor Eisner was leading her into the room for her test, which she had sweated and worried about all week.  But suddenly that didn’t seem to matter anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse us, Professor,” said Lord Arundel with a polite nod.  “We apologize for rudely interrupting, and will be on our way.  I must catch up with my dear niece.”  He gripped Edelgard’s elbow firmly, and the Princess only managed token resistance before she was being led away.  Yet she glanced back to her friend, trying to reassure her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bernadetta…it’s all right.  You did nothing wrong,” Edelgard said in a vain attempt of reassurance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come </span>
  <b>
    <em>along</em>
  </b>
  <span>, you stupid cow,” growled the tall nobleman, before the Professor slammed the doors shut behind Bernadetta.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Professor Byleth acted indifferent, but Bernadetta couldn’t help but linger nearby the door.  Edelgard’s cool voice waged war against the grating sound of her uncle’s outside in the monastery gardens.  Then she heard a hard sound, like a slap, and Edelgard gasping in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta sharply inhaled at the sound.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He did fucking not.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing her ear against the door, she heard the tail end of Arundel’s tirade.  “...you are treading on thin ice.  Remember who is in charge here…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edelgard’s voice rose high in defiance.  “For now...dear </span>
  <em>
    <span>Uncle</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Trust me when I say that I will remember </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> of what you have done to me…and my friends...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bernadetta?  I’m ready to start the test if you are,” said the Professor slowly, standing beside a training dummy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning from the door, Bernadetta felt something hot and firm settle within her.  Something calm, collected, brave, and assured.  It made her exhaustion, blood loss, and fears melt away into meaningless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone was hurting Edelgard.  Abusing Edelgard.  Exactly the same way SHE had been made to hurt.  By her Lord Father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wave of empathy and concern and fear...not for herself, but for another...made Bernadetta dizzy for a second, but it passed, and she trusted that hot core of blazing, angry focus to not lead her astray.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bernadetta von Varley scored 100% on her Assassination Exam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Lord Volkhard von Arundel had no idea what he had unleashed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bernadetta is like Milton from Office Space.  Don't take her Red Stapler...or in this case, her Red Princess...or she'll burn the place down...</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>FEED ME BERNIE</p></blockquote></div></div>
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